Unobtainable Dreams

I had another Idea for a blog today but after talking to my sister tonight, I thought of something better to write about.

It all started with me sitting on my couch, after nursing the monster and putting him to bed, I opened up the laptop and got on Facebook. I live in a college town where downtown is right across the bridge; meaning that I can hear all of the clubs and bars' music through my closed and sealed windows. It's a Saturday night so all the people my age are out. Hell, even leaving work tonight my assistant manager (who's in his mid 20s) mentioned that his friends were dragging him out to the bar.

Since you don't know my sister, a little background might be needed. My sister isn't the most social person and often during high school she was hardly invited to anything and then after graduation, she has only really left the house to go to the store with our mom since she lives at home. Like me, she took a year off from high school before continuing her education. However, unlike her, I got out of the house frequently enough to keep myself sane. If I had gone to college after high school I would have never met Brian, which means that there wouldn't be a monster. And thus, I'd be downtown right now instead of writing this.

I am happy with my life the way it is. I don't need parties or clubs to make me content. However, when my sister popped on Facebook, I messaged her "I am home, on a Saturday night, surfing the internet. Sounds like someone I know." Our conversation drifted from there as we were talking about people on Youtube and she mentioned a hairstyle that she saw someone do on youtube that interested her. Hair is not her thing. Video games are her thing. She mentioned that she could see herself in that hairstyle as a rock star on stage, jamming out .

The next question took me by surprise. She asked me if I had any unobtainable dreams, just like her rock star dream. My answer was no.

She continued to probe me and ask questions like what I day dreamed about between work, and school and such. My answer was that I didn't have time. And in all reality, I am more thinking about my son and what bills need to be paid, how much of my next paycheck will I have leftover, if any at all and when will I have some time with Brian. And that's even if I have time to think.

All of my dreams are obtainable. I have a list of 5 things that I want to accomplish before I turn 25. And as I am 20 at the moment, I have already completed one and two are in the making.

(Note: these have no particular order)
1. Get a degree/Graduate College (in the process)
2. Get married. (Soon)
3. Have a child. (Done)
4. Buy a house.
5. Obtain a career in the field of my degree.

And that has always ever been what I want in life. I never thought to think of wild dreams of jobs that I'll never have, be rich or famous. Maybe I'm boring, but I love getting excited over cloth diapers in the mail or having some money left over each month to go out to eat with Brian and the little Monster. I think that I was always meant to be a mom, to have a family and raise kids.

Two years ago, I couldn't pinpoint exactly where I wanted to be in life. I knew I wanted a family, but I also wanted to enjoy the college life. Now that I'm not experiencing the typically "college life", I don't feel as though I'm missing out on anything. Two years ago, clubs were my thing. But not today. Today and tomorrow and every day of the rest of my life is about my son and future children, my significant other and being happy with what I have in life.

The town is quieting down now as the clubs are shutting down and bars are on their last call.  I really should be heading to bed. I'm waiting for Brian to get home from work where I'll wake up to his smile in the morning and the little monster screaming. And I'll be happy. Sleep deprived, but happy.